My 5 Steps of Self-Love

My 5 Steps of Self-Love


Self-love is so important! It dictates all our thoughts, actions and our current life reality. It’s not something we get taught in school but something that affects every area of our life. We also hear the word a lot, but if we don’t actually have steps to learn how to cultivate self-love we wont ever be able to bring this into reality to make the life leaps we all deserve.

For, when you discover self-love, you discover that you deserve everything you desire. Nothing is off-limits.

There is SO much magic to be discovered when you find self-love, and so I have created my 5 steps of self-love so you have somewhere to start to explore this further in your own life.


1. Self-acceptance

Are you able to accept yourself right now, just as you are? Are you able to accept your body? Your finances? Your romantic situation? Your career? All the stupid sh** that you have done in your past?

Self acceptance is the window to opportunity. Once we are able to accept our strengths, our weaknesses, our uniqueness, our flaws, our failures, our achievements and fully embrace who you are, we can start the process of self-improvement.

2. Self-responsibility

Are you willing to take full responsibility for where you are right now? Although it feels easier to blame other people, for our life we are our own responsibility. It is our responsibility to reach out for help when we need it, recognise when we have f***** up and do what we can to rectify it, learn from our mistakes and do what we can to stop them repeating.

We cannot change the past but we can take responsibility for our future. 

3. Self -forgiving

Can you show yourself and others forgiveness? Sometimes life is really really painful and this can seem like something we just don’t want to engage with. I urge you to look at a situation and see if there is any way you could try to understand the other person. Have they had something really awful happen to them in their life? Was it coming from a place of insecurity?  Did you behave in a way that was out of character for you and do something you regretted? Can you forgive yourself?

Forgiveness isn’t done for the other person, it’s done to help us make peace with what is and be able to move without something tearing us apart and draining us emotionally. This does not ease the harm from the past and it does not mean forgetting but it does mean moving forward with compassion, understanding and love for yourself and others.

4. Self -care

This is what we do to take care of our mental and physical health. Our small day to day habits of self-care can be the actions that lead to big results. I know personally when I don’t prioritise this my mental health goes into fast decline. Self-care means many things to many different people and you can choose what this means to you.

It could mean meditation, journaling, affirmations, reading, walking, calling a supportive friend, having a bath, going to sleep earlier or setting an alarm 30 minutes earlier so you can have some time for yourself. cooking a nutritious dinner, cutting out or cutting back on alcohol, writing your gratitude list, lighting a candle or spending time in nature are all amazing ways to prioritise your self-care. Whatever self-care is for you, make sure you can practise it daily, no matter how small.

5. Self-wealth

This is not how much money you have in your bank but how much you value yourself.

How are you prepared to let others treat you? Do you set healthy boundaries and let people know what is and isn’t okay for you? Do you say YES when you actually want to say NO? Do you under charge for your services? Work longer hours than you are getting paid? Not honour your energy and feel drained the whole time?

 When we have self -wealth we really start to appreciate our value, time and energy. This is a BIG area to explore within yourself, and it really is worth your time to prioritise your self-wealth.

Remember, self-love comes from within, so take some time to reflect on my 5 steps and come and share what you discover and what you’re changing over on Instagram. Say hi @iamemilysyphas.